So I’ll admit, I’m a bit slow on the self-care train. I think this might be because in occupational therapy, self-care seems to focus heavily on the basics like showering, toileting and feeding. Not to say that these aren’t important (after all these are pretty basic survival tasks), but as I get older and get to know myself better, I’m understanding the things that help me thrive as a woman, mother and business owner.
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Despite the cover picture, self care for me is pretty diverse and as much as I love when it does, rarely involves a face mask.
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I think sometimes as women/mothers/ business owners we can feel the pressure to complete tasks that we have read in a book or heard in a podcast are important to do for our self-care. Have you ever stopped to think whose needs are actually being met in this instance?
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Doing something self-care related just to make someone else feel better that they have enabled you to do it I find is counterintuitive to your actual wellbeing, so stop doing what you think you should be doing and start doing what you actually need. We are all unique and our needs are as beautifully diverse as we are.
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To me self- care is anything that helps me fill the cup. I’m sure everyone has heard you can’t pour from an empty cup. For this reason, self-care to me will sometimes mean meeting up with a friend for hours of chatting and at other times will mean bailing on social plans to stay home alone-ish (as alone as you ever can be with a baby).
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For some people cleaning would never be considered a self-care task, but for me I feel so much better when I’m satisfied and comfortable in my environment. Sometimes it helps me to feel in control, organised and prepared to tackle whatever the day has to bring. Other times, cleaning is the last thing that would help me fill my cup. In those instances, I seek out opportunities to potter in the garden, exercise, renovate or bake.
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So, I want you to stop listening to what you think self-care should look like and start listening internally to what you actually need yourself. Also, I want you to be open to the idea that self-care is dynamic and will change both over your lifetime and even within the same day, week or month.